My Cat Sits Next To Me But Not On My Lap – What To Do?

Cat isn’t sitting on my lap
Have you ever wondered why your cat prefers to sit beside you as opposed to on your lap? The most popular theory is that even if the cat is showing you affection, she still has trouble trusting you and stays away from closer touch. It’s also possible that you’re not treating her right.

You may educate your cat to become a lap cat by following a few simple steps, but first, you must understand why not all cats will simply jump onto your lap.

Why is My Cat Sitting Next To Me But Not On My Lap

What Does it signify When My Cat Sits close to Me But not on My Lap?

If you’ve just acquired a cat, it’s possible that it’s still getting used to you. She is sitting near to you but not quite touching you, have you noticed that? She could be sitting next to you instead of on your lap. These are a few justifications for this behaviour:

The age at which your cat was brought home may be to blame. Do you recall taking your kitten cat home the first time? When you took her in, was she just becoming an adult, or was she already one? The fact that you acquired your cat when she was an older cat might be the cause of her lack of trust. If a cat was adopted as a kitten rather than an older cat, it will be easier to socialize and train her to be dependable.

Most cat experts agree that it’s best to take a kitten home at 12 weeks old since you’ll have plenty of time to socialize and train her to be a wonderful pet.

Reasons Why Your Feline Buddy is not Sitting on your Lap

1. Family History

The history of the cat is another element to take into account. Socially adept cats are more likely to snuggle up on your lap. They know what to anticipate because they are used to handling, cuddling, and human touch. These are cats and kittens that were raised in environments with plenty of humans paying close attention to them.

On the other hand, the cat could be more apprehensive and afraid of you if it was raised in an environment where it didn’t contact people or other animals frequently. Fortunately, there is room for improvement here.

2. You have Several Animals

Not all cats are comfortable around other animals. The domesticated animals in question don’t necessarily have to be cats; they may be a dog, certain birds, or another species. Due to their intense sense of territoriality, cats get uncomfortable and afraid when they share a space with another cat.

3. Not at all a Lap Cat

Your adorable cat is not a lap cat. She is completely healthy and devoid of any issues. Instead, keep an eye out for further signs of your cat’s devotion, as each cat has its own way of displaying it.

4. Non-Social Feline

If she was adopted from a shelter or rescue group for animals, she can have trouble integrating into society. She might be frightened of people because of her abusive previous owners. They are referred to as imprisoned cats by cat behaviourists, and it can take some time for adjustments.

5. It May be the Way You Handle Her

When your friend visits you at home, do you ever wonder why she usually sits on your lap? The people that cats prefer to cuddle with are also unpredictable. The issue might arise from improper care given to your cat. 

6. When you first got Your Cat

Kittens are active, like exploring the house, and will usually take a well-earned snooze in your lap. However, if you adopted an older cat, she probably won’t become trustworthy right away. She might not always be a lap cat, though! If you got a cat that was more mature than this, you may have found the solution. Professionals advise that the optimal time to adopt and teach a cat is when it is approximately 12 weeks old.

How to Make Your Cat a Lap Cat – 7 Tips

If you’ve been thinking about such an issue and you’re worried that your beloved feline buddy could be experiencing a health issue, you’ve come to the right place. Circumstances can be changed using the following ways.

How to Make Your Cat a Lap Cat

1. Establish a Calm Environment for Your Cat

Before tempting her to sit on your lap, make sure there are no distractions because cats may be fussy and sensitive. This might be an unexpected noise or a ringing phone. If you must answer the phone, speak slowly to prevent frightening your cat.

2. Give him/her Treats

You can teach your cat to sit on your lap, but it will require effort and perseverance. To give your cat a sensation of more authority, place her on a plush sofa as opposed to a chair with high armrests and appreciate her with a treat.

3. Be Mindful of her Body Language.

Learning how to interpret your cat’s body language is crucial. Most pet owners think that when a cat meows and runs to them, she wants to be hugged in their lap. But it’s not always the case. This might be your cat’s method of communicating with you that she wants to play with you or that she needs food.

4. Pay attention to How Much your Cat likes to be Petted

While some cats enjoy long, calming strokes, others choose shorter strokes on a particular body part. Be aware of your cat’s preferences and stop any particular strokes if they frighten it, they might bite you. Try to be aware of any sensitive spots on your cat.

5. Don’t be a Noisy Family

A calm environment is essential for cats that are easily frightened yet too timid to enjoy the comfort of sitting on their lap. Make sure your phone’s ringer is off and turn off all the loud gadgets in your house. 

6. Do not Deceive/ Punish/ Bother your cat

While encouraging and teaching your cat to sit on your lap, you shouldn’t use the chance to trick her into taking her medication or getting her nails trimmed. If you do this, your cat will start to associate sitting on your lap with negative things.

7. Give Independence she craves When she wants to Leave your Lap

If she wants to sit on your lap, let her; if she starts to become nervous, just leave her alone. Enjoy the thrill if she briefly rests on your lap without forcing her to stay there. In order for her to sit on your lap for a longer amount of time the following time, try to keep a positive mood during the engagement.

Advice for Caring for a Lap Cat at Home

What could be cosier than having your favourite kitten or cat curl up on your lap? Our cats are independent creatures, therefore they will only communicate with you when it is convenient for them.

Consequently, even if they occasionally might be pleased to sit on your lap, there are other times when they could choose to stay close by on a rug, far away on a perch, or hidden in their own company. Here are some suggestions for raising it to become a lap cat and enhancing your bond with your kitten.

  • Begin practising while they’re young.
  • Never force them to do something they don’t want to.
  • Start chatting with your cat.
  • Establish a secure environment.
  • Choose the right time.
  • The person’s chosen blanket.
  • Find where they are vulnerable.
  • Inform them to be calm.

Frequently Asked Questions

She could prefer to be alone more simply by nature, or she might be wary of physical contact due to her past. Alternatively, it’s possible that she has never known true love; in that case, you’ll need to show her how loving your petting and cuddles are. The main reason cats won’t be handled is because they haven’t had enough socialization. 

The Bottom Line on My Cat Sits Next To Me But Not On My Lap

If your cat sits next to you but not on your lap, try not to worry too much. It’s okay if your cat chooses not to sit on your lap. Show tolerance somehow. On the other hand, you can train your cat to become a lap cat with a little patience, cat treats, and a secure and loving environment.

LearnAboutCat Author Isabella

Who Is Isabella?

My name is Isabella, and I am a dedicated and knowledgeable cat enthusiast. With years of experience caring for cats and a deep love for felines, I made a mission to help other cat lovers navigate the challenges of cat ownership.

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